Sexual rejection can be a difficult pill to swallow, but being the person who is rejecting sex, doesn’t feel that great either.
Turning down sex doesn’t necessarily hurt relationship satisfaction, as long as we do it in positive ways. Here are three approaches to keep in mind.
1. Clearly and calmly explain why you are turning down the sex
If you’re not in the mood for sex when you’re partner initiates it, one of the best things you can do is explain to them why you’re not in the mood.
That’s because many people naturally take sexual rejection personally and can drive themselves crazy while trying to come up with a reason why they are being turned down. So, it’s important to tell your partner why you can’t have sex at that moment.
2. Suggest another time
Sexual rejection usually feels a lot more manageable when we’re given a safety net. Something like: “I’m not feeling it right now, but maybe we could try on the weekend, once my work deadline has passed” is at least better.
3. Find a way to connect
Just because you’re not in the mood for sex doesn’t necessarily mean you have to turn down other bids for connection and closeness.
It might not be sex, but if your partner is reaching out as a way of feeling close, there are several different ways that this can be accomplished, even when sex doesn’t feel like an option. It could be a game or an activity that you both enjoy.
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